Noise and Movement

by Essie Quoi

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03:17
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03:08
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04:02
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03:47
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04:23
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04:45
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02:47
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about

there's this idea in quantum theory that for every particle, there is an equal and opposite anti-particle, and that when the two meet, they annihilate each other. there's also this concept in psychology called individuation which is "a process of transformation whereby the personal and collective unconscious are brought into consciousness to be assimilated into the whole personality." for Noise and Movement, i bring these two ideas together. the noise, being the former concept and, the movement, being the latter.

credits

released April 7, 2017

Composition, performance, production - Essie Quoi
Live drums, production, engineering - Lee Marchenko


*merci à:
dieu!
lee marchenko
katie wood
alan germani
munier nazeer
ted coffey
kristina warren
allan weberg
june shuffett

and [friends and family] for making me.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Essie Quoi San Francisco, California

the dismal yet cinematic realm that is my mind.

contact / help

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Track Name: empty houzes
Circle around my body
Talk me of out of feeling like myself
Stare into my soul and steal, steal, steal
Lie like you’re helping me
Tell me it’s what i deserve
Questioning if i am healthy
Questioning what i am worth

You make me feel special then you disappear
Your whispers feel like daggers all up in my ears
I hate the way you’re painted in my brain
How long till your name stops causing pain
I’m just saying…
You could’ve stopped before you started
You should quit haunting empty houzes
Hoping that you find the peace you seek and leave

Wipe me out of your memory
Treat me like i’m a stranger
Taste another who’s twice as sweet
Make me suffer in silence
Such violence has me
questioning if i’ll ever understand feeling complete

You make me feel special then you disappear
Your whispers feel like daggers all up in my ears
I hate the way you’re painted in my brain
How long till your name stops causing pain
I’m just saying…
You could’ve stopped before you started
You should quit haunting empty houzes
Hoping that you find the peace you seek and leave
Track Name: somehow
i never noticed the slant in the hall, crack crack in the wood, or the wires in the wall
the floor always feels like dancing and plants have never been so long
now that i come to think of it, what is anything at all?
the floor always feels like dancing and plants have never been so long
now that i come to think of it, what is anything at all?
————

i’m breaking my back, breaking the bank
ain't nothin in there in the first place
i’m happily broke
in the dark corner paranoid

it’s easy, it’s easy to lose your mind
especially when you’re divine
——--
somehow i ended up here, all alone underground
if i fall into the forest, does it make a sound?
somehow i ended up here, all alone underground
if i fall into the forest, does it make a sound?
----
i never noticed the tear in the blinds
uh oh, air’s heavy with all the signs
why’s the water still dripping?
the lights, they flicker off and on
how do i think nothing of it?
how do i think at all?

somehow i ended up here, all alone underground
if i fall into the forest, does it make a sound?
Track Name: cut up (ft. Becky)
romance,roses
flower,fellow
gotta kiss cowardice
fear is static

sleepless 66
whispered sweet nothings
lovely, empty
naked guilt

My trouble is i analyze myself instead of living it
Anyone who inhavits himself, cannot believe in objective thinking

perfectionism is a slow death

left:
she had a mind like a box of fireworks and hands that played recklessly with matches
she said “stop. let’s continue this conversation in bed”

right:
the toxicity of our city
ah toxicity of our city


romance,roses
flower,fellow
gotta kiss cowardice
fear is static

sleepless 66
whispered sweet nothings
lovely, empty
naked guilt

My trouble is i analyze myself instead of living it
Anyone who inhavits himself, cannot believe in objective thinking

-----

my thoughts are like lines that never cross
you protect my intuition
And do the stars obey you?
Track Name: my mind
vs

people and their motives and their issues and their egos
you'll just find yourself alone
thinking and reflecting on the promises from earnest hope

i'm thinking too hard and feeling just as much
when my eardrums explode, i’ll be left voiceless


chorus

this body never stood up on its own, these eyes could never sense the truth
such rhythm in the way your heart beats, calling to my mind

still looking for a place to call a home
could i find a home in you?
such tremors every time your heart beats, calling to my mind


vs

bathing in my badness while my brain develops blisters
scathing slowly with my soul
hoping that my savior lives within me cause i don’t trust these people

i’m breathing real hard while peeling off my scars
and when i’m all flesh and bone, i’ll be more myself than ever before

chorus

this body never stood up on its own, these eyes could never sense the truth
such rhythm in the way your heart beats, calling to my mind

still looking for a place to call a home
could i find a home in you?
such tremors every time your heart beats, calling to my mind

outro

(this body
these eyes
this rhythm
this mind)
Track Name: distant place
there she found her distant place
it was written all on her face
her happily ever after

the time faded with the wine bottles and their arms erupted from each side, from each side like an angry fountain

the bones of his ego grew limbs on his face
and the evidence of his self consciousness bore him, bore him a raggedy suit

you try and you run like a wounded bird, trying not to fall
so you better keep up
and you better not get caught
the time will come when you’ll fight
and you’ll fall so rough, get back up, get up, get back up, get up

there she found her distant place
it was written all on her face
her happily ever after

drops which crackle, trading frequencies, liquids to solids, then quietness
an absence which invades our homes
i reach for the nothings

there she found her distant place
it was written all on her face
her happily ever after
Track Name: basement
(mental noise)

v1
what about this area makes you scared?
is it me, is it her?
don’t let the lady catch you slipping
oohh

interlude
(mental noise)

v2
face the paranoia, yeah beware
that’s not love
that’s just you
you’re alone
let it go
no matter how you try it, you can’t turn off the mental, mental noise

bridge



the questions that we ask
the answers that we fear
we burrow our own graves
before the time is near

twirl around and gaze
the garden’s nearly full
of meloncholy daises
Track Name: plague
medicinal
sweet poison

crazy

plague, plague
mere sickness

who holds the gun?
who holds the bottle?

who loads the gun?
who fills the bottle?


die
choke
beg for me
i’m your dead uncle’s only brother

bleed
scar
break
break apart

i’ll glue you back together with Elmers

rambunctious
we’re diving in
don’t help us
we like our skin

drunk



slip
fall
fall to defeat
it’s your ecstasy, don’t you love it


dream
hard
love
cause your sacred heart’s
drunk with love and filled with poison

rambunctious
we’re diving in
don’t help us
we like our skin
Track Name: wise ones
we are the wise ones
with a killer intent we long for someone
to mellow our heads
you look for shortcuts
what do you think that this is?
mmmm
eh eh eh

why now do you ask me questions you know the answer to?
why have me looking crazy in public?
is it fun for you? are you just sadistic?

now you don’t care much
you’re the “coolest”
you wash the taste out to prove yourself remiss
i’m like a small child, living in ignorant bliss
mmmm
eh eh eh

why now do you ask me questions you know the answer to?
why have me looking crazy in public?
is it fun for you? are you just sadistic?

looking back now i feel so petty.. where was my mind?
but making excuses helps to cover up bruises
so i’m fine
yeah i couldn’t see it coming, i was younger then and so naive
so how could i have sensed the knife tucked in your sleeve?

we are the wise ones
with a killer intent we long for someone
to mellow our heads
you look for shortcuts
what do you think that this is?
mmmm
eh eh eh

why now do you ask me questions you know the answer to?
why have me looking crazy in public?
is it fun for you? are you just sadistic?
Track Name: language
tick tock, it’s that time again
for my heart to break in several pieces
i’ve grown accustomed to this routine
yet somehow it still burns me every time

but the days go on
and i’m feeling stronger
if you speak my language
then i hope you’ll find love
said i hope you’ll find love

sunrise and it’s half past noon
i’d spent the whole morning dreaming about you
cause i’d spent the whole six hours the previous night thinking up all the ways that i’d died

oh but the days, the days, the days go on
oh oh and i’m feeling stronger
ah if you speak my language, then i hope you’ll find love
said i hope you’ll find love
Track Name: mother's voice
i'm on the verge of tears
then i hear my mother's voice
she says "you need to be careful. because nothing lasts forever"

so i hold myself tight
and tell myself it's alright
i'm a strong girl
i cannot be affected

nothing lasts forever
nothing lasts forever

i
just want to jump someplace between consciousness
wandering far from man…how beautiful i am


so i hold myself tight
and tell myself it's alright
i'm a strong girl
i cannot be affected

nothing lasts forever
nothing lasts forever